Motherhood is a Wild Ride

Motherhood is a wild ride. The only way I can describe this feeling is similar to the experience of taking an airplane to a dream destination. There’s so much anticipation in preparing for the flight, ensuring all ducks are in a row. The stress and eagerness of getting through security, only to sit at the gate for an unknown amount of time as other flights take off, and you patiently wait. The constant delays coupled with anxiety as you ask yourself if you’ll ever get there. Boarding the plane almost feels exciting, as if you’re one step closer to where you’re meant to be. Taking your seat and releasing the exhale you’ve been holding onto since the beginning of the travel day. Enjoying the calm, as you reach 35,000 feet in the air; only to be met with unexpected turbulence. You immediately look around at the other people struggling to remain calm. The captain comes overhead and says, “well folks, we hit some turbulence; but we are expecting nothing but clear skies for the remainder of the flight”. It’s in this moment that you rest. You can finally close your eyes and envision the finish line. What feels like only moments later, you hear “flight attendants prepare for landing” and you brace yourself. Suddenly your stomach is in knots, your breathing quickens, and you watch out the window at the approaching tree line. The wheels hit the ground, your bottom leaves the seat for just a split second, and you’re traveling toward the gate. You’ve made it. You landed. What seemed like such a long, painful experience has now come to an end. You’ve reached your dream destination, and all you have left to do is enjoy.

Motherhood is a wild ride, and it is one that comes with unavoidable detours and turbulence. There are sleepless nights, days filled with tears, and many moments that consist of not knowing whether or not you have what it takes to go on. Through it all though, there is also joy, laughter, and snuggles that feel better than a blanket straight from the dryer. There is unmistakable happiness the first time your child walks, pees in the potty, and is able to tell you what he is feeling. There is unimaginable pride when your two year old notices others’ feelings, and offers comfort to them. There is unexplainable joy when your child hugs you after a long day full of “nos”, hitting, biting, throwing, screaming, and tantrums.

Motherhood is a wild ride, and no one tells you how you’re supposed to do it. When my wife and I took our son home from the hospital I was scared shitless. Why would they let two young women leave with a brand new, seven pound, helplessly vulnerable baby without having any experience in this before? It dumbfounded me- where was my instruction manual? Google is only so helpful before it’s not. Was “motherly instinct” really going to be enough? In some ways, it was. But in others, like emotional intelligence and re-parenting aspects of myself that needed it, Google was no help. I’m thankful for the shitty advice I received from family and friends that didn’t feel good to me. I appreciate the things I was told such as “let him cry it out” and “he needs to learn to be independent as early as possible” and “don’t hold your baby too much or it’ll spoil him”. Because of these ridiculous comments, I sought out education and advice from experts. I did research and was able to implement tools that felt good and worked!

Motherhood is a wild ride, and I’ve only experienced it for two years. I’ve learned an incredible amount about myself as a person, and as a parent. I’ve struggled in my own identity, I’ve struggled in my marriage, and I’ve struggled as a mom. One thing I remain certain of is that I am the best mother for my child. I am confident in the way I am raising my child, the decisions my partner and I make, and the discipline techniques we enforce. I wake up every morning knowing that the day is going to give me exactly what I need; and no matter what, I’m going to show up for my son in the best way that I can. I am able to approach his tantrums with compassion and empathy; I show him full understanding and unconditional love. I am able to remain calm during his storms so that he knows I am a steady rock he can lean on. I prioritize connection over obedience, and cooperation over compliance. The way I choose to parent feels good in my soul, and I know for a fact that I am doing something right.

Motherhood is a wild ride, and I am here to tell you that it is possible to feel good on the ride.

Wondering how you can feel good and confident as a parent? Comment “tell me more” and we’ll chat.

Thanks for being here,

Brianna